How To Write A Eulogy Speech
Talking To The Family

This section looks at talking to the family of the deceased and the sort of questions that you should be asking as part of writing the Eulogy,

If you had any form of relationship with the deceased then you may already know quite a bit about them. However in order for you to deliver a sincere and true to memory speech / tribute you should try to glean as much information as you can. This usually means sitting down with the family and talking about the deceased. Remember to take notes of anything relevant that you might be able to use.

Be sensitive to their situation. The questions below should really get the family talking. It should give you useful material ito help compose the Eulogy: 

  • where and when was he/she born
  • any brothers and sisters
  • parents names and occupations
  • childhood memories and or ambitions
  • school history
  • achievements and qualifications
  • work history
  • children and grandchildren
  • endearing attributes
  • less endearing attributes
  • what were the highlights of his or her life
  • personality traits
  • hobbies
  • holiday's
  • favourite pastime
  • what made them laugh and what made them cry

Also be in tune to off the cuff remarks and anecdotal memories. Make a special note of any anecdotes or stories that are meaningful to you. Also ask, what do you think the deceased would have liked to have been most remembered for? Don't forget your own memories of the person and what you remember him/her most for.

In particular look out for recollections that bring a smile or a laugh. If the conversation lulls and you feel you need more input then go back over your notes and start the conversation agai. Refer to something previously mentioned. Perhaps ask them to elaborate on something particular that you think might be useful. You can also ask if there is anything that they would like specifically mentioned. If there is then do make sure it is mentioned in the right context.

Reading through some of the eulogies and scripts here should give you a good idea of the type of questions to ask, also how long the eulogy should be and how it is structured. At the basic level it's a birth to death potted history with personal attributes fitted in. 

The deceased should be easily recognisable to the mourners from your tribute. If you are really in tune to the task you will be amazed to find how it will all somehow naturally come together. These videos are also helpful: How to write a eulogy - Help videos.

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